Edgar's Superfluous Surging Sane Story
by Drone person
Summary: The most sane story you'll read. I guarantee it.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or any of the characters in the cartoon. All Copyrighted material and Rights to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belong to Lauren Faust and Hasbro.**

**The use of names and/or characters that are non-fictional or copyrighted to anyone else in this story is purely coincidental and accidental.**

**I do not own Mass Effect, or any of the characters in the video game. All Copyrighted material and Rights to Mass Effect belong to Bioware.**

**The use of names and/or characters that are non-fictional or copyrighted to anyone else in this story is purely coincidental and accidental.**

**I do not own Sonic the hedgehog, or any of the characters of the franchise. All Copyrighted material and Rights to Sonic the hedgehog belong to Yuji Naka, Sega, and Sonic Team.**

**The use of names and/or characters that are non-fictional or copyrighted to anyone else in this story is purely coincidental and accidental.**

**A/N Ever had one of those times where you write fan fiction and ask yourself, "What happens if I say 'To Heck with decency, I wanna write something with no logic, which does not stay within the bounds of characters staying in character and the such'?" Okay, that actually occurs a lot, point is I'm writing this as pure silliness, so don't take it professionally.**

**Now that that's out of the way, enjoy this little slice of my insanity.**

* * *

**Edgar's Superfluous Surging Sane Story-Chapter1: I got Soul and Ponies**

Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, was a regular moronic teenager who spent his days indoors and being a total couch potato, which was harder to be then it sounded considering the daunting fact that his house was absent of any form of couch.

He lay on his bed, imagining the wondrous things he would be doing if he had a couch in his house. He would sit on it. He would rest in it. He would sleep in it. He would relax in it. The endless possibilities were darting through his mind like a screeching cat on fire.

Just then he felt himself levitate off his bed and a burning sensation ripping at his chest.

"What in the blue blazing balls is going on?" Edgar wondered to himself as a bright flying light erupted form his chest.

He landed on his bed and saw that the ball was floating there in midair. Soon there materialized a hovering machine holding the ball in an electric field claw and a slightly obese man sitting in the machine's cock pit. It was Sonic 2006 Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik!

"Nyah ha ha! Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, I have stolen your soul," The grotesque realistic fat man gloated proudly.

"Why?" The-also-mildly-fat teen exclaimed the question.

"Because of reasons!" The doctor chucked at the hapless souless-soul. "Now that I have your soul I shall shatter it into three fragments and scatter them!"

Edgar eyes grew wide with horror. "You dastardly dick!"

"Hear me and hear me well, Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16," Eggman bellowed, "If you do not retrieve these fragments within twenty-four hours, you will die!" The doctor laughed menacingly.

Edgar leapt up, crossed his arms, and tilted his head up, eyes squinting. "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED," he yelled.

Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik teleported away from the scene, leaving the teen to figure out his conundrum.

Quickly thinking, Edgar pulled out his touch-screen phone and activated his GPS.

"GPS, activate the millions of chips I implanted into my soul and track everyone of them," He demanded. Soon his GPS computed the coordinates only to bring the depressing news that it could not track the chips.

This made the situation more taxing. There could not be anyway Eggman found and deactivated the chips. They were positively microscopic. Then a light bulb appeared above Edgar's head. Unscrewing it from its invisible socket, he swallowed the light source, its heat and form traveling down his gullet. "GPS," he proclaimed, "Run a trace of the chips across the multiverse."

The GPS obeyed the order and revealed several red dots scattered in three groups in different universes. Not wasting a single second, Edgar took out the phone stylus and tapped the portal application. Cross using it with the GPS, he was instantly teleported to the one of the group of dots.

* * *

Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, felt his atoms rematerialize his form and found himself standing on a bridge that crossed over a small river. Edgar turned his gaze towards what the bridge led too and nearly choked with utterly stupid fan boy joy at what he saw before him.

Ponyville was a bust with the daily town activities and trifles. Edgar, not wasting time, leapt across the bridge skipping like an overly feminine school girl humming that annoyingly catchy theme song. As he did he inadvertently kneed several ponies with each gallop he made with his legs. Soon enough, he found himself suddenly knocked in the chest by a pegasus whe was attempting an aerial maneuver. Edgar forced his eyes open, ignoring the pain in his chest that only intensified with the horse's forehooves using his chest as a static object to lift itself up.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she backed up off the fan boy.

Edgar, being the overly pretentious idiot that he was, lifted himself into the air and fluttered his feet as a whimsical way to float down and found purchase. "Apologies my astounding aerial acrobat, in my spastic glee, I did not look before I leapt."

"Clearly," Glowered one of the ponies the teenager had kneed. This pony in particular was wearing a hazmat suit and was carrying two barrels of radioactive waste that was seeping into the soil.

Rainbow Dash eyed the male with confusion. "Right, anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Well a doctor from a video game franchise has apparently stolen my soul, split into three fragments and scattered them across the multiverse. One of the fragments are here and I wish to retrieve it before the twenty four hour time frame I have is up and I die," Edgar explained to the blue pegasus.

"Doctors and souls," Rainbow Dash pondered the odd combination. "Sounds a lot like black magic. You should talk to Twilight Sparkle about it."

Edgar gave the idea thought, "Well I already know where the fragment is, but I don't know how I would get it back in me. Maybe I should speak to Ms. Sparkle about it." As Edgar finished his sentence, he caught sight of something that nearly made him drop to his knees.

Bouncing towards their direction, a cotton candy-colored earth pony wore an utterly happy grin on her face. Her closed eyes opened to reveal a sparkling aura of sky blue irises and circular glares. Her puffy mane bounced with her bouncing in perfect harmony, its darker shade of cotton candy matching with her fur, the only color betraying the sight being the three-ballooned cutie mark-two blue, one yellow-she bore on her flank. "Hi, Dash," Pinkie Pie's high pitched girly voice exclaimed as he bounced into their vicinity.

She was about to continue with her greeting, but lost purchase as she was suddenly wrapped into the embrace of the human who just arrived. He stroked her hair as he began speak in his native tongue. _"Mi Corazon, tu pelo, tu piel, tu ojos, todos son increíbles. Ay, maldigo el doctor por robar mi alma, porque mi alma anhela para ti."_

Pinkie Pie said nothing, but found her way out of his grasp and delivered a full kick to Edgar's face with here rear hooves. The force shattered the cartilage in his nose into millions of small, broken pieces. But none of that mattered to the horny boy as he rose back up. The two ponies stared at him, his nose bleeding profusely. Rainbow Dash then fell on her back, laughing hysterically at the scene that just occurred.

Edgar felt his cheeks blushing as Pinkie Pie began to laugh alongside her friend. Edgar felt just as he did back in ninth grade when he slipped on the stairs, rolled as if he was a boulder going down a hill, barreling down several unfortunate students, and impacted a speed bump in the school parking lot. The impact caused him to fly through the air and decimate the right wing of a plane carrying one passenger who was carrying a suit case with top priority papers that would ensure an agreement that would lower gas prices to at least a fifty cents a gallon. The plane crashed along with the papers.

"I am terribly sorry for forcing myself on you in such a rude manner," Edgar apologized to the pink pony.

Pinkie Pie stifled her laughter to respond. "Sorry? That was the best prank ever!" She let out a giggle which grew into another hysterical laugh.

Edgar frowned again. Being the moron he was, he mistook Pinkie's mistaken interpretation of his mistake to woo her as a sign that the passion he poured out for her was nothing but a friendly prank from a friendly stranger.

Before he could conjure up a suicidal thought, however, his phone beeped furiously. The alert that he heard signaled that he has lost an hour in the twenty four hours he needed to save his soul and his life.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your everlasting laughter," he began, "But I'm running out of time and I need to see Twilight Sparkle, post haste."

The ponies ceased their laughing and led the bumbling romantic to the Ponyville Library. On their way, the previously mentioned radioactive waste had spawned an eldritch abomination mad of radioactive goo and it was now spreading havoc upon the poor denizens of Ponyville.

"Should we worried about that?" Edgar asked the two ponies.

"Meh, Ponyville is always in danger," Rainbow Dash replied. "Blink once and the whole town is being sucked in by a black hole."

* * *

"Yep, definitely black magic," Twilight Sparkled returned to the three that had arrived in the library as she put the book on the subject down. AppleJack, Rarity, and Fluttershy were also in the library because they had nothing better to do ever since the eldritch abomination had ruined their weekly plans. Also, the Magical Plot god of Magic dictated that they must be there. He then left to kick cats into a field goal.

"There's no easy way to put your soul back into you," Twilight explained, "and even if you find a fragment, it won't return to you until you have all three pieces together."

"Speaking of which," AppleJack began, "How is it that you're still living without a soul?"

Edgar gave the simple answer. "Soap." The group stared at the teen with confusion. Edgar then pulled out a bar of soup and lifted his shirt up to rub it on his chest. "Temporary Soul Soap: Apply directly to the chest. Temporary Soul Soap: Apply directly to the chest."

Twilight was unmoved by the improbable ad. "Anyway, the book said that your soul cannot be put back in you by pure magic. There's a ritual that has to be performed, but I don't have the tools to perform it and they don't exist in Equestria."

Edgar grew depressed at the news. Then he snapped his fingers. "You said the book mentioned tools needed to perform the ritual, right? If you write me up a list of the materials I can use my Teleportation app to figure out where these tools might be."

Twilight Sparkled figured the idea to be impossible, but brilliant. She turned to her number-one-assistant (slave), Spike, and spoke. "Spike, take a letter," The unicorn cleared her throat as she began to speak. "Dear Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, enclosed are the list of materials you will need to return your soul to your corporeal form. The materials are as follows: Eggs, Cheese, Milk, Butter, Yogurt, and Vanilla Ice Cream. I hope you find them in time. Your plot device, Twilight Sparkle."

Edgar stared at the unicorn dumbfounded. "Why are you sending it in the form of a letter, I'm right here," he yelled in rage. "Also, what do you mean you don't have the items here? Those items are all here!"

"The items can't be from a goat," AppleJack said, knowing Edgar would question about the cows Equestria was sure to have. "We _had_ cows, but Princess Celestia banished them to the moon. The manure they were spewing out was making our bright land look depressing. And smell bad." The ponies nodded their heads happily, remembering the glorious day the cows were banished.

Edgar stared, dumbfounded. "Okay, what about eggs. Surly Celestia couldn't have banished chickens because they weren't laying easter eggs."

"About that," Fluttershy spoke up. Seemingly out of nowhere, she presented a chicken in front of the teenager. It let out a cluck, as it birthed a fresh egg that was embellished with a solid blue skin, broke half way by a wide and wavy line. The egg broke open as a chocolate rabbit hopped out of the shell. The rabbit smiled, waving its hand.

"Hello, dear new friends. I'm here to bring joy and peace to all-" It could not finish its sentence as Fluttershy's hoof came down hard on the poor rabbit, its chocolate remains stretching, the floor and the underside of the pegasus' fighting for possession.

"They're evil," Fluttershy spoke, scraping the remains on the floor in an attempt to relieve her hoof of them. "It started ever since strange barrels of radioactive waste appeared everywhere that chickens were."

Edgar formed an expression of surprise on his face. "Did these barrels happen to have a symbol of a smiling face with what looked like badly-drawn whiskers on both sides?" Edgar looked at the pegasus' nodding head. He turned around and melodramatically formed a ball in his hand. "Eggman," he glowered.

As if on cue, the Eldritch Abomination broke the roof of the library, which was confusing to imagine since the library was contained in a tree, for whatever reason. The monster roared at the frightened group as it was about to attack. Just then, the monster's head suddenly exploded, the remains of its head fell onto the group, slathering them in Nature's greatest affront.

"Mmmmm," Exclaimed Pinkie Pie, as she used her infinitely long tongue to lick all the globules off herself. "Taste like nuclear reactors."

Edgar could not shriek at the sight, as his warming smile could not think of any reaction to the revolting scene.

"Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16," Bellowed a voice from atop a floating platform. It was Saren Arterius. "The doctor has demanded that you be stopped in your efforts to reclaim your soul."

Suddenly, the platform emitted a glow and produced a hologram that became the form of the rumored-to-be-oldest-reaper-itself, Harbinger. "You are weak and slow. Stopping you shall be an easy feat."

Surprisingly, the hologram produced another hologram. This one being the iron lung and kidney himself: The Illusive Man. "You're a rogue asset Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16," TIM took a drag form his cigarette, which lasted for a good sixty seconds. "And so we must dispose of you."

"You three," Edgar said with disdain in his voice. "So Eggman has you under his payroll, huh?"

The three of them looked between each other, confused.

"What are you talking about?" The ex-spectre asked.

"We are doing this simply because we have nothing better to do," TIM said, downing a whole bottle of whisky. "It's sad, really."

"How do you think we feel?" Rarity exclaimed.

Edgar facepalmed, "Whatever, throw everything you have at me, I will not falter," Edgar challenged the fearsome three and he crossed his arms, head in the air.

The three monoliths of evil smiled as they retreated from their places. Soon an entire of legion of reapers were visible in the sky, slowly descending on Equestria. The six ponies and Spike began to shudder. Edgar remained unmoved.

"Not faltering," Edgar stated.

Soon, Geth were dropping from the sky, attacking Ponyville and its citizens. The frightened group now huddled behind Edgar.

"Still not faltering," Edgar said, remaining static.

Now Cerberus troops had descended into the library, pointing their weapons at the group. One of the ponies threw Spike over Edgar's head and in front of the teen. The dragon was on the verge of urinating all over himself.

"Nope," Edgar still remained as stoic as before.

Out of nowhere, a Pyjak appeared in front of him.

Edgar opened one eye and looked at the space-monkey-creature and grew a horrified expression.

"FALTER," he screeched as he took all the ponies with him out the rear window of the library. He was on the window sill when Twilight Spoke up from the bundle of ponies the teen was carrying himself.

"Wait, we can't leave Spike!"

Edgar and the ponies looked behind him to see that the Cerberus troops were now kicking Spike repeatedly.

"He'll be fine," Edgar stated as he jumped from the window sill and ran, ponies in tow. All around him the taste fire and death rose to his tasteless nostrils. Outside, he wanted to help all the helpless ponies that were dying at the hand of pure evil. Deep down, he only cared about getting Pinkie Pie out of this before the stuff really hits the fan. He found an alley that was untouched by the raging beasts of death and stopped in it, dropping the ponies.

"Alright everypony," Edgar began, doing a mental facepalm at the fact that he was using that very phrase, "We need to stop this destruction of your homeland and kick these baddies out of her. But first we need to get my soul fragment."

Twilight Sparkle countered the suggestion. "I'm sorry, Mr. Colon, but I believe saving Ponyville is more of a priority than your soul."

"Oh, and that gigantic chemical monster wasn't a problem?" Edgar countered her counter.

"That was different, monsters attack Equestria all the time. Want to hear about Pinkie Pie's cake demon?" Twilight directed the question in harsh manner to the pony in question.

Pinkie Pie was offended. "All I did was add a teaspoon of Necronomicon."

Twilight Sparkle facehoofed and turned back to the human. "Do you even know where this soul fragment of yours is?"

Edgar rolled his eyes. "Duh, I have my phone GPS tracking it."

Twilight and the others stared at the device confusingly. "What's a phone?" She asked.

Edgar glared. "You ponies are so primitive." He then checked the phone and waited as it calculated the coordinates of the fragment. It placed its position to be in Canterlot. "Be more specific you worthless piece of dungbeetle," Edgar yelled at the device in his usual fashion of delivering poorly-thought-of and confusing insults. He threw the phone to the ground and turned his back to it.

Rainbow Dash looked at the phone then back at Edgar. "Don't you need that?"

"Pfft," Edgar pfft-ed, "It's not like it ever appreciated me yelling at it." The boy did not regard the phone for half a minute.

The growing sounds of destruction were beginning to loom their way into the alley. Soon the ponies and Edgar would be killed by the mighty thrall of the doctor's lackeys.

Twilight sighed. They do have to find a safe place to plot their next move, and Princess Celestia was sure to have a plan to defeat these invaders. "Okay, we'll find your soul fragment, just," Twilight struggled to find the right words, "Make up with your…square."

Edgar turned and sighed. Twilight was right. There was no time for petty rivalry, he and his phone must work together to use these ponies to help them get what he wants. The teenager picked up the phone and hugged it. The moment lasted for fifteen seconds. They broke off the hug and Edgar checked the GPS. Edgar stared wide eyed at the coordinates then recomposed himself. "Twilight, my phone can only teleport me to other universe's and the place I land in is never specific."

"Why not?" Twilight questioned.

"Because its an outdated app. I really need to get the 4.0 version, I mean, nonspecific teleporting? That's just absurd." Edgar complained. "Look the point is I need you to teleport all of us, specifically me and Pinkie, to the area my soul fragment is."

"I'm sure I can teleport all of us," Twilight started, "But where do we need to go?"

Edgar answered. "Princess Celestia's throne room."

* * *

Princess Celestia was looking at the jester pony in front of her. She had found sitting on the throne doing nothing until a crisis happened, only to tell Twilight Sparkle and her friends to deal with it and did nothing again, quite boring and thought it best to hire some entertainment. The jester was doing a splendid job of entertaining the princess and was already considered for a permanent job and residence. The spectacle was stop by a sudden flash as Twilight had teleported the entire group into the throne room.

Celestia was beginning to sweat. Seeing the jester performing amusing tricks in front of the princess was a sign of evil. Her Public Relations executive had said that such acts would be terrible for her image. Considering that the guards and staff knew the consequences of letting such things escape from their lips, they knew to stay quiet about it, lest they face the consequences. However, other ponies knew not of what would happen and the Pony Treasury of Happiness were already on her case for sending another worker to the moon for spilling hot coco on her by mistake. The ponies and human seeing this would certainly bring the ever looming hammer on her. Quickly thinking she used her magic to grab the hapless jester and toss him out the stain glass window, which was followed by accurate reaper beam disintegrating him.

The ponies and Edgar looked up to see the princess smiling in a forceful-looking manner.

"Princess Celestia, Ponyville is in danger," Twilight said immediately.

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief. "My faithful student, why didn't you tell me of such a thing through a letter? _Like you should of._" The princess asked, the last comment coming through her teeth.

"I would have, but Spike was caught by one the things that were attacking."

"Finally, you can stop sending me letters while I'm watching my stories," The princess glowered. She saw that the others were listening and quickly rephrased her statement. "I mean, that is terrible news."

"Princess, if I may," Edgar began, "I'm here on the business of looking for a fragment of my soul, and my GPS' reasons lead me to believe that it is right on that pedestal next to you?" Edgar changed his statement to a question mid sentence as he saw the glowing ball-smaller than the whole soul-on a small pedestal next to the princess.

"This is part of your soul?" The princess questioned. "I thought it was from that zebra king I received a letter from. I thought it was repayment for the one million bits I gave him."

Before anybody could utter another word, the roof of the throne room was vaporized by reaper beam by Harbinger. The monolith floated down towards the opening, his entire form blocking the sky so only its glowing eyes could be seen. He was accompanied by Saren and The Illusive Man, who dropped in via ATLAS mech. The glass cockpit of the mech was covered by smoke coming from the inside.

"Your resilience is noticeable, but your actions are foolish," Harbinger stated, its mechanical voice booming with great vibration. "You have led us to the goal for which we were ordered to keep you from. Now we shall erase it from this existence along with yours and this entire planet's."

Edgar did not expect such a thing to happen. Neither did they expect him to perform his next move. With a quick swipe and tap of his stylus, Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, teleported himself out of harm's way, leaving the ponies behind.

"Retreating: A cowardly option but a smart one," The Illusive Man stated as the glass window of the ATLAS opened large puffs of smoke came flowing out along with falling bottles of whisky. "Learn when to pick your fights."

"I would have done the exact same thing," Saren stated. He had no time to think of what he said as he was suddenly hurled off his flying platform. The flying ragdoll that was Saren Arterius was seen across Ponyville, impacting hard onto the side of a reaper. His lifeless form slid down the reaper and into a factory which was clearly named by a sign at its front: Equestrian Center for Bomb Dismantlement. The entire factory went up in a ball of flames, destroying anything that remained inside of it.

What has caused Saren to fly outward was the sudden appearance of the SSV Normandy SR2's external area of its bridge appearing along with the rest of the ship in the space in front of Harbinger. The forward airlock opened to reveal Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, standing next Commander Insert Name Here Shepard, along with Tali and Garrus, whom were selected to be the designated shore party members, because Bioware didn't program the ability to bring more. Also, Commander Shepard could not bring more than two due to convenience. The four leapt from the airlock and turned to face TIM and Harbinger.

"I'm sorry to inform you two," Edgar started, "But you are about to get royally boned."

Harbinger moved his lumbering mass out of the way for a meteorite to fall into the throne room. The meteorite turned out to be a Ravager and it had its targeting laser pointed at the group.

"Tali, Garrus, move up," Shepard commanded as his squad approached the ravager, who fired at them. As it was shredding them to bits, Shepard threw a fully evolved grenade at the beast, and due to the fact that Shepard had turn the difficulty meter to Narrative, making the whole situation that much easier the grenade exploded, tearing apart the Ravager as it melted into acid.

Tali and Garrus were on the ground, motionless, leaving the ponies and Edgar to fear the worst. However, Shepard was confident as the two team members rose up as if nothing happened.

"No need to worry," Shepard announced as he walked up to the two and wrapped his arms around both their necks, patting them on the shoulders, "These two are indestructible."

"Help us," Tali and Garrus said in unison.

The group then turned the ATLAS, which surprisingly stayed motionless through the entire debacle. They pondered as to why TIM had not fired and be done with it.

After a moment of piecing it together, Edgar had formed the solution. "Of course, excessive smoker and drinker, guys."

The entire group gave out an agreeing "Oh" at the revelation. Now that that situation was dealt with, they now only had Harbinger to deal. The Reaper had quite enough of the insanity going on below him and was charging his laser.

The group gasped as the machine was about to attack. In the sudden face of death, Twilight Sparkle remembered a very special something she had created a mental connection with so she can teleport it to her location at anytime. As her horn glowed, she materialized a book in front of her. "You may have laser beams of death," she began, yelling at the monstrosity. "But you're in our world now and you have to abide by our rules, including the rules in here!" Twilight Revealed the item she had. Equestrian Robotics: The Complete guide to the Machines.

"Your knowledge is limited," Harbinger stated, "We are not robots. We are more."

Twilight only smirked as she read aloud, Harbinger's laser on the verge of firing. "The Three Laws of Robotics," the laser had finished charging, "Law 1: A robot may not harm another organic or, through inaction, allow an organic to come to harm," The light of Harbingers charging beam began to dim. "Law 2: A robot must obey the orders given to it by organics, except where such orders would conflict with the first law," Harbinger's looming mass began to float away from the hole in the roof, as did all the reapers around all of Equestria. At the same time, all Geth platforms were deactivating, the many minds that ran with in each disconnecting from the units. "Law 3: A robot must protect its existence as long as such protection does conflict with the first or second laws." The Cerberus troops were positively bored of attacking Ponyville and walked into the ocean, never to be heard from again.

Twilight closed the book as she smirked. "Once again, reading has become a deus ex machina."

The others celebrated their victory over the invaders. Edgar smiled warmly at the happy faces he barely lifted a finger to help. His happy thoughts were interrupted when his phone beeped alarmingly. He had remembered why he came to this place. "Princess Celestia, if I may ask, I must take my soul fragment with me and continue my search for the other two."

Celestia looked at the glowing orb held in a glass case. It irradiated with a beautiful aura and she was hoping to keep. Just then, she saw her PR executive eying her from the door, her glare giving a sign of extreme caution. "Oh, of course you may take this fragment. You do have to live. I suppose." She reluctantly floated the orb towards the teenager and he happily took it.

Edgar looked to the group in the throne room. He knew that the rest of his journey would be traitorous and he needed help. "People, you may be aware of my mission to reclaim my soul."

"No were not," Tali stated.

Edgar glared. "Anyway, I cannot accomplish this alone. If Eggman had employed those fiends to come after me, he must have something even more dastardly up his sleeves, which is why I am now building a task force to accompany me on my venture." Before anybody could offer a rebuttal, Edgar continued. "Pinkie Pie, you're with me."

Pinkie surprisingly offered no counter and gladly accepted. "Okey. Dokey. Lokey," She stated happily as she bounced to the teenager's side.

Edgar simply stared at her. "I want to have your kids."

"What?"

"Nothing," he quickly retorted. "Now I may need a pegasus just in case of something. I'm not sure what that something is but I'm sure I'll figure it out." Edgar looked at the only two pegasuses in the room. "Fluttershy, you've shown most bloodlust than any other pony since I came here. Join me."

Fluttershy was shocked. "Oh, um, I don't know if I should. I mean, I'm not that good of a fighter."

"Or flyer," Rainbow Dash said. The other ponies glared at her. "What? It's not true?"

Edgar came up to the yellow pegasus and reassured her. "Come on, Fluttershy, think about. A chance of adventure, excitement, and danger!"

"I'm afraid of all those things," Fluttershy countered, lowering her head.

"And all the little woodland creatures you can make friends with."

Fluttershy shot up to the news. "Any woodland creature?"

"They don't even half to be from the woods. Or animals. Or real." Edgar told her.

Fluttershy need no more convincing, she was now in, whether she liked it or not.

"Now," Edgar, continued, "I'm going to need some magic on my side."

Twilight did not dawdle. She walked up the boy, proudly. "I'd honored to help a poor creature in-"

"Rarity, get over here," Edgar interrupted, much to both of the unicorns shock.

"Are you joking?" Rarity exclaimed. "You are positively the rudest person I ever met. What could possibly make you think I would come with you?"

Edgar approached the unicorn's face, coming close enough for both of their foreheads to touch. He bore a death glare. "Dresses," he said in a hoarse voice.

Rarity shrieked happily at the word and immediately joined here two friends waiting.

"Shepard, I can't leave this place knowing it's unguarded. Something tells me Eggman may be planning to take some aggression out on it considering I got my soul fragment," Edgar explained. "I need you to stay here and defend Ponyville."

Before Shepard could say a word, Edgar pulled out a controller. Using the analog stick, he stopped Shepard from speaking on his own. Controlling Shepard's options like a slaver, he chose the highest choice on the right side of the conversation wheel which was the most moral one. "The Normandy is ready to assist Equestria in any way she can."

"Well I said Ponyville but, Equestria is just as good," Edgar said.

"Wait, how are _we _supposed to stay here," Garrus spoke up. "I'm pretty sure this place doesn't have dextro amino food, do they?"

Edgar gave the turrian what could possibly be the most amazing answer in the world. "Meep."

With that said, Edgar Anthony Colon, age 16, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy were teleported via phone app to the next universe that held the next soul fragment.

Tali shook her head, mentally faceplaming since she couldn't really do it do to being in a suit. She looked out the shattered window at Ponyville. Feeling her eyes becoming dry in the three seconds that they were opened, she blinked and a black hole formed over Ponyville.

* * *

**A/N: Startled Realization: I just wrote this and posted on this site. What have I done?**


End file.
